My Own True Ghost Story
As I came
through the Desert thus it was-
As I came
through the Desert.
The City of Dreadful Night.
Somewhere in the Other World, where there are books and pictures and plays and shop windows to look at, and thousands of men who spend their lives in building up all four, lives a gentleman who writes real stories about the real insides of people; and his name is Mr. Walter Besant. But he will
insist upon treating his ghosts-he has published half a workshopful of them-with
levity. He makes his ghost-seers talk
familiarly, and, in some cases,
flirt outrageously, with the phantoms. You may treat anything, from a Viceroy to a Vernacular Paper, with
levity; but you must
behave reverently toward a ghost, and
particularly an Indian one.
There are, in this land, ghosts who take the form of fat, cold, pobby corpses, and
hide in trees near the roadside
till a traveler passes. Then they
drop upon his neck and remain. There are also terrible ghosts of women who have died in child-bed. These
wander along the pathways at
dusk, or
hide in the crops near a
village, and call seductively. But to answer their call is death in this world and the next. Their feet are turned
backward that all
sober men may
recognize them. There are ghosts of little children who have been thrown into wells. These
haunt well curbs and the fringes of jungles, and
wail under the stars, or catch women by the wrist and beg to be taken up and carried. These and the
corpse ghosts, however, are only
vernacular articles and do not
attack Sahibs. No
native ghost has yet been authentically reported to have
frightened an Englishman; but many English ghosts have
scared the life out of both white and black.
Nearly every other Station owns a ghost. There are said to be two at Simla, not counting the woman who blows the
bellows at Syree dâk-
bungalow on the Old Road; Mussoorie has a house haunted of a very
lively Thing; a White Lady is
supposed to do night-watchman round a house in Lahore; Dalhousie says that one of her houses "repeats" on
autumn evenings all the incidents of a
horrible horse-and-precipice
accident; Murree has a
merry ghost, and, now that she has been swept by cholera, will have room for a
sorrowful one; there are Officers' Quarters in Mian Mir whose doors open without
reason, and whose furniture is guaranteed to
creak, not with the
heat of June but with the
weight of Invisibles who come to
lounge in the chairs; Peshawur possesses houses that none will willingly
rent; and there is something-not fever-wrong with a big
bungalow in Allahabad. The older Provinces simply
bristle with haunted houses, and
march phantom armies along their main thoroughfares.
Some of the dâk-bungalows on the Grand Trunk Road have
handy little cemeteries in their
compound-witnesses to the "changes and chances of this
mortal life" in the days when men drove from Calcutta to the Northwest. These bungalows are
objectionable places to put up in. They are generally very old, always dirty, while the khansamah is as
ancient as the
bungalow. He either chatters senilely, or falls into the long trances of age. In both moods he is
useless. If you get
angry with him, he refers to some Sahib dead and buried these thirty years, and says that when he was in that Sahib's service not a khansamah in the Province could touch him. Then he jabbers and mows and trembles and fidgets among the dishes, and you
repent of your
irritation.
In these dâk-bungalows, ghosts are most
likely to be found, and when found, they should be made a note of. Not long ago it was my business to live in dâk-bungalows. I never inhabited the same house for three nights running, and grew to be
learned in the
breed. I lived in Government-built ones with red brick walls and
rail ceilings, an
inventory of the furniture posted in every room, and an excited snake at the
threshold to give welcome. I lived in "converted" ones-old houses officiating as dâk-bungalows-where nothing was in its
proper place and there wasn't even a
fowl for dinner. I lived in second-hand palaces where the wind blew
through open-work marble tracery just as uncomfortably as
through a broken pane. I lived in dâk-bungalows where the last
entry in the visitors' book was fifteen months old, and where they slashed off the curry-kid's head with a sword. It was my good luck to meet all sorts of men, from
sober traveling missionaries and deserters flying from British Regiments, to drunken loafers who threw whisky bottles at all who passed; and my still greater good fortune just to
escape a
maternity case. Seeing that a
fair proportion of the
tragedy of our lives out here acted itself in dâk-bungalows, I wondered that I had met no ghosts. A ghost that would
voluntarily hang about a dâk-
bungalow would be
mad of course; but so many men have died
mad in dâk-bungalows that there must be a
fair percentage of
lunatic ghosts.
In due time I found my ghost, or ghosts rather, for there were two of them. Up
till that hour I had sympathized with Mr. Besant's
method of handling them, as shown in "The Strange Case of Mr. Lucraft and Other Stories." I am now in the Opposition.
We will call the
bungalow Katmal dâk-
bungalow. But that was the smallest part of the
horror. A man with a
sensitive hide has no right to sleep in dâk-bungalows. He should marry. Katmal dâk-
bungalow was old and
rotten and unrepaired. The floor was of worn brick, the walls were
filthy, and the windows were nearly black with
grime. It stood on a bypath largely used by
native Sub-Deputy Assistants of all kinds, from Finance to Forests; but real Sahibs were
rare. The khansamah, who was nearly
bent double with old age, said so.
When I arrived, there was a
fitful, undecided rain on the face of the land, accompanied by a
restless wind, and every
gust made a noise like the
rattling of dry bones in the
stiff toddy palms outside. The khansamah
completely lost his head on my arrival. He had served a Sahib once. Did I know that Sahib? He gave me the name of a well-known man who has been buried for more than a
quarter of a
century, and showed me an
ancient daguerreotype of that man in his
prehistoric youth. I had seen a steel engraving of him at the head of a double
volume of Memoirs a month before, and I felt
ancient beyond telling.
The day shut in and the khansamah went to get me food. He did not go
through the,
pretense of calling it "khana"-man's victuals. He said "ratub," and that means, among other things, "grub"-dog's rations. There was no
insult in his
choice of the term. He had forgotten the other word, I suppose.
While he was cutting up the dead bodies of animals, I settled myself down, after exploring the dâk-
bungalow. There were three rooms, beside my own, which was a
corner kennel, each giving into the other
through dingy white doors fastened with long
iron bars. The
bungalow was a very
solid one, but the
partition walls of the rooms were almost jerry-built in their flimsiness. Every step or bang of a
trunk echoed from my room down the other three, and every footfall came back tremulously from the far walls. For this
reason I shut the door. There were no lamps-only candles in long glass shades. An oil wick was set in the bathroom.
For
bleak,
unadulterated misery that dâk-
bungalow was the worst of the many that I had ever set foot in. There was no fireplace, and the windows would not open; so a
brazier of charcoal would have been
useless. The rain and the wind splashed and gurgled and moaned round the house, and the toddy palms rattled and roared. Half a dozen jackals went
through the
compound singing, and a hyena stood afar off and mocked them. A hyena would
convince a Sadducee of the Resurrection of the Dead-the worst sort of Dead. Then came the ratub-a
curious meal, half
native and half English in composition-with the old khansamah babbling behind my chair about dead and gone English people, and the wind-blown candles playing
shadow-bo-peep with the bed and the mosquito-curtains. It was just the sort of dinner and evening to make a man think of every single one of his past sins, and of all the others that he intended to commit if he lived.
Sleep, for several hundred reasons, was not easy. The lamp in the bathroom threw the most
absurd shadows into the room, and the wind was beginning to talk
nonsense.
Just when the reasons were
drowsy with blood-sucking I heard the regular-"Let-us-take-and-heave-him-over"
grunt of doolie-bearers in the
compound. First one doolie came in, then a second, and then a third. I heard the doolies dumped on the ground, and the shutter in front of my door shook. "That's some one trying to come in," I said. But no one spoke, and I persuaded myself that it was the
gusty wind. The shutter of the room next to mine was attacked, flung back, and the inner door opened. "That's some Sub-Deputy Assistant," I said, "and he has brought his friends with him. Now they'll talk and spit and smoke for an hour."
But there were no voices and no footsteps. No one was putting his
luggage into the next room. The door shut, and I thanked Providence that I was to be left in peace. But I was
curious to know where the doolies had gone. I got out of bed and looked into the darkness. There was never a sign of a doolie. Just as I was getting into bed again, I heard, in the next room, the
sound that no man in his senses can possibly
mistake-the whir of a billiard
ball down the
length of the slates when the striker is stringing for break. No other
sound is like it. A
minute afterwards there was another whir, and I got into bed. I was not
frightened-indeed I was not. I was very
curious to know what had become of the doolies. I jumped into bed for that
reason.
Next
minute I heard the double click of a
cannon and my hair sat up. It is a
mistake to say that hair stands up. The skin of the head tightens and you can feel a
faint, prickly, bristling all over the scalp. That is the hair sitting up.
There was a whir and a click, and both sounds could only have been made by one thing-a billiard
ball. I argued the matter out at great
length with myself; and the more I argued the less probable it seemed that one bed, one
table, and two chairs-all the furniture of the room next to mine-could so exactly
duplicate the sounds of a game of
billiards. After another
cannon, a three-cushion one to judge by the whir, I argued no more. I had found my ghost and would have given worlds to have escaped from that dâk-
bungalow. I listened, and with each listen the game grew clearer. There was whir on whir and click on click. Sometimes there was a double click and a whir and another click. Beyond any sort of doubt, people were playing
billiards in the next room. And the next room was not big enough to hold a billiard
table!
Between the pauses of the wind I heard the game go forward-
stroke after
stroke. I tried to believe that I could not hear voices; but that attempt was a
failure.
Do you know what fear is? Not
ordinary fear of
insult,
injury or death, but
abject, quivering
dread of something that you cannot see-fear that dries the inside of the mouth and half of the throat-fear that makes you sweat on the palms of the hands, and gulp in order to keep the uvula at work? This is a fine Fear-a great
cowardice, and must be felt to be appreciated. The very improbability of
billiards in a dâk-
bungalow proved the
reality of the thing. No man-drunk or
sober-could imagine a game at
billiards, or
invent the spitting crack of a "screw-
cannon."
A
severe course of dâk-bungalows has this disadvantage-it breeds
infinite credulity. If a man said to a confirmed dâk-
bungalow-haunter:-"There is a
corpse in the next room, and there's a
mad girl in the next but one, and the woman and man on that camel have just eloped from a place sixty miles away," the hearer would not disbelieve because he would know that nothing is too wild,
grotesque, or
horrible to happen in a dâk-
bungalow.
This
credulity,
unfortunately, extends to ghosts. A
rational person
fresh from his own house would have turned on his side and slept. I did not. So surely as I was given up as a bad
carcass by the scores of things in the bed because the
bulk of my blood was in my heart, so surely did I hear every
stroke of a long game at
billiards played in the echoing room behind the
iron-barred door. My
dominant fear was that the players might want a marker. It was an
absurd fear; because creatures who could play in the dark would be above such superfluities. I only know that that was my
terror; and it was real.
After a long, long while the game stopped, and the door banged. I slept because I was dead
tired. Otherwise I should have preferred to have kept awake. Not for everything in Asia would I have dropped the door-
bar and peered into the dark of the next room.
When the morning came, I
considered that I had done well and wisely, and inquired for the means of
departure.
"By the way, khansamah," I said, "what were those three doolies doing in my
compound in the night?"
"There were no doolies," said the khansamah.
I went into the next room and the daylight streamed
through the open door. I was
immensely brave. I would, at that hour, have played Black Pool with the owner of the big Black Pool down below.
"Has this place always been a dâk-
bungalow?" I asked.
"No," said the khansamah. "Ten or twenty years ago, I have forgotten how long, it was a billiard room."
"A how much?"
"A billiard room for the Sahibs who built the Railway. I was khansamah then in the big house where all the Railway-Sahibs lived, and I used to come across with brandy-shrab. These three rooms were all one, and they held a big
table on which the Sahibs played every evening. But the Sahibs are all dead now, and the Railway runs, you say, nearly to Kabul."
"Do you
remember anything about the Sahibs?"
"It is long ago, but I
remember that one Sahib, a fat man and always
angry, was playing here one night, and he said to me:-'Mangal Khan, brandy-pani do,' and I filled the glass, and he
bent over the
table to
strike, and his head fell lower and lower
till it hit the
table, and his
spectacles came off, and when we-the Sahibs and I myself-ran to lift him he was dead. I helped to
carry him out. Aha, he was a strong Sahib! But he is dead and I, old Mangal Khan, am still living, by your
favor."
That was more than enough! I had my ghost-a first-hand, authenticated
article. I would write to the Society for Psychical Research-I would
paralyze the Empire with the news! But I would, first of all, put eighty miles of assessed
crop land between myself and that dâk-
bungalow before nightfall. The Society might send their regular
agent to
investigate later on.
I went into my own room and prepared to pack after noting down the facts of the case. As I smoked I heard the game begin again,-with a miss in
balk this time, for the whir was a short one.
The door was open and I could see into the room. Click-click! That was a
cannon. I entered the room without fear, for there was sunlight within and a
fresh breeze without. The unseen game was going on at a
tremendous rate. And well it might, when a
restless little rat was running to and fro inside the
dingy ceiling-cloth, and a piece of loose window-
sash was making fifty breaks off the window-bolt as it shook in the
breeze!
Impossible to
mistake the
sound of billiard balls! Impossible to
mistake the whir of a
ball over the
slate! But I was to be excused. Even when I shut my
enlightened eyes the
sound was marvelously like that of a fast game.
Entered angrily the
faithful partner of my sorrows, Kadir Baksh.
"This
bungalow is very bad and low-caste! No
wonder the Presence was disturbed and is speckled. Three sets of doolie-bearers came to the
bungalow late last night when I was sleeping outside, and said that it was their
custom to rest in the rooms set apart for the English people! What
honor has the khansamah? They tried to enter, but I told them to go. No
wonder, if these Oorias have been here, that the Presence is sorely spotted. It is
shame, and the work of a dirty man!"
Kadir Baksh did not say that he had taken from each
gang two annas for
rent in advance, and then, beyond my earshot, had beaten them with the big green
umbrella whose use I could never before
divine. But Kadir Baksh has no notions of
morality.
There was an
interview with the khansamah, but as he
promptly lost his head,
wrath gave place to
pity, and
pity led to a long
conversation, in the course of which he put the fat Engineer-Sahib's
tragic death in three
separate stations-two of them fifty miles away. The third
shift was to Calcutta, and there the Sahib died while driving a dog-cart.
If I had encouraged him the khansamah would have wandered all
through Bengal with his
corpse.
I did not go away as soon as I intended. I stayed for the night, while the wind and the rat and the
sash and the window-bolt played a ding-dong "hundred and fifty up." Then the wind ran out and the
billiards stopped, and I felt that I had
ruined my one
genuine, hall-marked ghost story.
Had I only stopped at the
proper time, I could have made anything out of it.
That was the bitterest thought of all!